I have been trying different parenting/discipline techniques for, oh, about the last 9 years. One of the hardest things about parenting is being consistent, which I am not, but I do attempt. Lately, we have been on a tattling rampage. I have been hearing ALOT of "so-and-so hit me" or "she's chewing at me with her mouth open" or "he's looking at me weird". I didn't want the kids to retaliate when they were being wronged, so I told them to come and tell me and I would play referee. Well, that got old real quick. I seemed to be constantly going to the scene of the crime and trying to determine "who dunnit", or who was first to do it. Usually, I found out that if someone got hit, it was because they were instigating the fight in the first place. I don't get it... Do they really think they can get their brother/sister in trouble without risking the same punishment? Between playing detective and weeding out the "give me a break" kind of tattling, I was ready for a change.
So....within the past week or so, I have shifted course and decided to guide them in settling their own disputes. Duh. That's a no brainer. I'm thinking that it's probably a good thing to know as they reach adulthood :) So, when someone comes whining about a brother not playing nice, I simply tell the tattle-taler, "You tell your brother that what he did was not kind, and if he's not going to play nice, then you are not going to play with him" or something to that effect. That's just reality, right? No one wants to play with a meanie.
Well, Gracie came to me today crying and saying "Ellie hit me...", so I gave her the same speech. "You tell your sister that if she can't play nice, your not going to play with her." Gracie started crying even harder saying, "I don't want to, I don't want to". I realized the problem, and said, "Ok, then go back up and play." Not willing to sacrifice her playmate for something so petty, she instantly dried up, turned around and went back to play with Ellie. Ahhhh, problem solved.
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