Master juggler... sometimes.

There it is... add it to my list of occupations. You know, along with chauffeur, chef, nurse, cleaning lady, baker, psycologist, doctor, teacher, and the list goes on.... I have been thinking this week that I am a master juggler. Unlike the clown in the picture, I have six balls that I am currently keeping in the air (add in Paul, and you're up to seven). For the most part, I am in a regular groove and am preparing to add one more to my juggling skills within the next month or so. It'll throw things off for a bit (usually about 6 months) until I can get my rhythm back... but it will eventually come back.

Why have I been contemplating juggling skills this past week, you ask? Well, whenever I have things that disrupt my routine (and yes, even though I don't have a "schedule", there is still order and routines to my day :), it's hard to keep all of my objects in the air. This past week (and for the next 5 days or so) we've had family visiting with us. They are friends of ours who moved to Colorado 5 years ago. Every year, they come back to visit and stay with us. Every year, it seems to get a bit harder (except for the year I had a 2 week old. That was the pits).

Maybe it's because I'm 8 months pregnant and have a subconscious need to start nesting and relaxing before the baby comes... I'm not sure, but out of necessity (because of my attitude over the last week), I have taken some time to do some inward self-examination. It's funny how you don't know what's inside of you until you get bumped or squeezed. Then, good or bad, it gets spilled out. Ugh, the stuff I've found... selfishness, critical thoughts, irritability... have made me painfully aware of my inadequacites. Now the challenge is to become moldable. I realize that God uses all things for our good and His desire is to make us more like Him. I also understand that if I am not willing to let Him mold me with the easier challenges, it seems like the challenges get harder until He is finally able to break our will. Though the urge is to sulk, my challenge (and my true desire) is to stay soft and moldable instead of hardening my heart to what God is doing.